“We were told to expect the worst”: Ezra’s story

Ruth faced every parent’s nightmare when she went into labour at just 26 weeks – and her husband, Andy, was deployed overseas with the Navy. With their first child, Gabi, barely 11 months old, Ruth suddenly found herself far from home, dealing with a critically ill newborn, Ezra, and going through it all alone.

When she needed support the most, she found solace and comfort from the Ronald McDonald House Southampton. This would be the start of the family’s long hospital journey, but thankfully, Ronald McDonald House Charities UK was there to support them along the way.

Guest blogger: Ruth

I was blue-lighted by ambulance to Princess Anne Hospital in Southampton when I was in labour in July 2021. My husband Andy was away at sea with the Navy, and my daughter Gabi was just 11 months old. Very soon after, our son Ezra was born at just 26 weeks. He was tiny, weighing less than 2lb. At first, we thought that we were dealing with just a premature baby, but Ezra was later diagnosed with achondroplasia, the most common form of dwarfism. Most of Ezra’s hospital admissions since have been for respiratory issues, or failing to thrive, due to complications with his condition, such as his lungs being so small. There were several times when Ezra was in the Intensive Care Unit that we were told to prepare for the worst, as he may not survive.

I arrived in Southampton with nothing but my work bag, still packed with resources for the next workday. My only thought was getting Andy home to meet his newborn son. The Navy acted quickly, flying him back from Gibraltar the very next day, though he, too, arrived empty-handed.

Ronald McDonald House Southampton became our lifeline, offering us a room within 24 hours. We were told our stay would be brief – just two to four weeks until we could transfer to our local hospital. Instead, we spent months there, eventually boomeranging between Southampton and our local hospital after Ezra’s first discharge.

In May 2022, we returned to stay for a further 405 nights due to more complications with Ezra’s condition. We have also had a couple of short stays at the Ronald McDonald House Evelina London when Ezra was transferred there for specialist treatment. So far, we have had five separate stays in Ronald McDonald Houses while Ezra has been in hospital, adding up to a total of 493 days.

We found out about Ronald McDonald Charities UK just after Ezra was born when the hospital staff on the NICU ward informed us about it – we hadn’t heard of the Charity before. When we arrived, we were greeted by House Assistant Lauren, who immediately made us feel very welcome. She gave us a room near the entrance, considering our needs with a young child. When Gabi joined us the next day, the House made it possible for our family to stay together.

As we stayed at the House for such a long time and at a vital stage of Gabi’s development, many special moments, memories, and important milestones stood out to us. Gabi did not understand where she was or what was happening. As far as she was concerned, the House team were all her ‘uncles’ or ‘aunties’ who were just here to play with her. They even made Gabi feel like part of the team by giving her her own ID badge, with her photo and name just like the staff wore.

Gabi spent her first three birthdays at Ronald McDonald House Southampton while Ezra was in hospital. We recreated the pictures from her first birthday on the sofa every year!

One of the most special occasions in the House was Christmas. Not just the day itself but the whole exciting buildup, the parties, and the treats. Sadly, Gabi became unwell too and, along with Ezra, spent Christmas Day as an inpatient at the hospital. We knew in advance that the Charity would provide Gabi with a special Christmas gift, but we had no idea how special! The gift now takes pride of place in her home bedroom and is still a much-loved toy.

The Southampton House became the backdrop for so many of Gabi’s firsts – her first crawl, her first steps, and even her potty-training journey. The staff celebrated every milestone with us, rewarding Gabi with lollipops whenever she proudly shared her latest achievement.

We came to rely upon the House team for support throughout our stay, especially while Andy was away at sea. Maintenance Man Colin helped us with so many practical tasks, such as making up our new pushchair and fixing toys. If anything would break, Gabi would always say, “Colin, fix it”. It was all the little things that the House team did that made a difference in our lives. If Gabi were bored, they would provide fun activities for her, such as stickers, play dough, or craft items to help keep her occupied.

Keeping Gabi with me while Ezra was in hospital made such a difference in our lives. It allowed us to keep her in a somewhat normal routine. She could have her naps, hot meals, bath, and bed at the House. I was often alone without Andy, but I made friends for life while staying in the House, who kept us strong.

Without Ronald McDonald House, I can’t imagine how we would have managed. We might have ended up sleeping in our car or staying somewhere far from the hospital, making it difficult to be there for Ezra each day. The House lifted an enormous burden from our shoulders – we didn’t have to worry about food and travel costs, and we could cook proper meals instead of relying on expensive takeaways. Most importantly, we were just moments away from Ezra’s bedside if his condition changed. Having a safe place so close to him made all the difference.

When we left the House, there were many mixed emotions. We were excited to be going home, as we had moved into a new house during our stay, but Gabi was very sad to leave her Ronald McDonald family behind. We returned a week later for Gabi’s birthday, as it had become a family tradition for us to celebrate in the Southampton House.

We are still regular visitors to the House and call in when we have hospital appointments to use the Day Room facilities. Gabi really enjoys seeing the team and both children enjoy the snacks from the Grab & Go selection, as well as having fun in the Play Room! We also like to revisit the House for any of their special events and parties.

If somebody were considering fundraising for Ronald McDonald House Charities UK, I would say do it! You never know if you, or someone that you love, will need to use the Charity.