"My sunshine": Archie's story

Mum Rachel stayed in Ronald McDonald House Tooting in the summer of 2023, when her baby Archie was receiving treatment at St George’s Hospital, London. Devastatingly, Archie died in hospital, leaving a heartbroken Rachel grieving her first and only child.

Since suffering her tragic loss, Rachel has been keen to give something back to the Tooting House, which gave her so much support during Archie’s short illness.

I had a really difficult pregnancy with Archie; I was constantly sick, I had gestational diabetes, and preeclampsia. The complications meant that I had extra scans throughout, and the silver lining was that I regularly got to see Archie growing inside me, and I loved him so much, even before he was born.

Archie arrived six weeks early, on 14 November 2022, weighing 5lbs 7oz. He had bilateral talipes, also known as clubfoot, and he was a little jaundice, so we stayed in hospital for about a week, and he had light therapy. Otherwise, there were no other issues, and he was a perfectly healthy baby.

Fast forward to 31 December 2022, and Archie and I saw in the New Year together, in an ambulance on our way to hospital. He’d caught respiratory syncytial virus (RSV), and he had a habit of holding his breath, which was making him turn blue. He was kept in for 10 days or so, before he’d recovered enough to come home, and he was completely fine.

Archie was well for the next few months, but he was always very sleepy. I thought I was just a lucky new mum, having a baby who slept so well, but with hindsight it was perhaps a sign that something else was going on. On 15 July 2023, I got a call from his dad, asking me to come home as quickly as I could, because Archie had gone floppy and was unresponsive. I arrived just before the ambulance, and the paramedics checked him and said they thought he’d got hot too quickly, causing his body to effectively shut down. That’s when he was taken into hospital, and he never came home again.  

During his hospital admission, he had several seizures, and the medics were struggling to find the cause. He had MRI scans, which showed they weren’t epileptic seizures. Even the specialists couldn’t identify the root cause. We stayed in Medway Maritime Hospital for a week or so, and Archie seemed to be picking up, but then he had an episode where he stopped breathing and had to be resuscitated. A decision was made to intubate him, and he was put into an induced coma.

We were transferred to St George’s Hospital, London, and again Archie seemed to pick up and things were going in the right direction. He was extubated and he stopped having so many seizures. He was put on anti-seizure medication and further tests were carried out, as he seemed to be continuing to recover. We were transferred back to Medway, where, after just 20 minutes, Archie had a 70-minute seizure. It was like a switch was flicked and his whole body just shut down. Within six hours, we were back at St George’s Hospital.

After a couple of days back on the Paediatric Intensive Care Unit (PICU), it was decided Archie was well enough to be moved onto the Children’s Ward. Less than an hour later, he had a cardiac arrest. It happened when I was in the Ronald McDonald House; it was the first night I’d left his side, to try and get some sleep. When I got the call from Archie’s dad to tell me what had happened, I ran as fast as I could to get there and found him being resuscitated when I arrived. A consultant spoke to us and said it had taken too long to get a response from Archie, and his brain had been starved of oxygen. They didn’t think he’d recover. He was taken back to the PICU, where, for about five days, they continued to do tests to assess the damage to his brain.

On 1 August, we were called in for a meeting, and the doctors said they didn’t think it would be fair to keep him going. We were put in a separate room, and I was allowed to hold him. The last time I’d held Archie was the night he went onto the other ward. I’d given him a massive cuddle and kiss, put him to bed and told him to go to sleep while his father was in the bed next to him. I left to go to the Ronald McDonald House for a nap, so I could face the doctors in the morning.

They turned the machines off that were keeping him alive and at 7pm that night, he peacefully passed away.

It was a healthcare assistant at St George’s, who first told us about Ronald McDonald House Tooting, not long after Archie had been admitted. I’d heard of Ronald McDonald House Charities UK, and seen the collection boxes in McDonald’s restaurants, but until you or someone close to you needs their support, you don’t pay enough attention to this amazing cause. I must admit to being sceptical about staying there at first, because I didn’t want to be anywhere but at Archie’s bedside. But I soon realised that without the House, I would’ve been sleeping on a bench or on the floor. I needed to have that space where I could rest, shower, and just feel human for a short while.

When I was growing up, my grandad’s nickname for me was ‘Mowgli’ (the character from Jungle Book) and I used to call him ‘Baloo’. When Archie was born, my grandad nicknamed him ‘Hathi’, the baby elephant. When I got to the House for the first time and saw all the rooms were Jungle Book-themed, I instantly felt at ease. When the lovely House Assistant Mohammed showed us to our room and I discovered it was the Elephant Room, I burst into tears. It gave me a feeling of warmth and safety. It was meant to be.

The House was so adorable! I was devastated with the situation we were in, but the House gave me so much comfort and a feeling of calm. I soon realised that we weren’t far from the ward at all. When Archie’s dad and I took ‘shifts’ and alternated at his bedside, it meant there was somewhere for one of us to go and recharge and rebuild our strength, ready for another long day on the ward.  

The House left such a positive, profound impact on me. It really calmed me. All the staff were such nice, genuine people. I connected with another family in the House, whose 13-year-old son was sick. We were able to support one another and bond over our shared experience.

Recently, I decided I wanted to give something back to the House. My sister-in-law set up a GoFundMe page to raise money for the Charity and she discovered that if we raised £5,000, we could sponsor a room in the House. We set that as our target and wanted to raise the amount in time for Archie’s birthday, on 14 November. We were delighted to reach our target, raising £5,050 in Archie’s name.

When we got in conversation with the House Manager, Rachel, she mentioned that they were hoping to make some improvements to the Playroom in the House and that’s when I came up with the idea of doing some artwork to display on the walls. Archie was such a beautiful, perfect, happy baby. He went to bed smiling and woke up in the morning with a huge smile on his face too. I wanted to create something that would reflect his bright, sunny character.

I’ve painted pictures on canvas of an elephant, depicting little Archie, and other animals including a crocodile, a meercat, a lion and a tiger, which, in my mind, are his cousins. The paintings have special meaning to me, but they’re designed to brighten up the space for every family who stays in the House, for many years to come. I feel grateful to have had the opportunity to create something so special, as my way of repaying the support and care the House showed me.

I was honoured to go back to the House recently, for a Family Reunion party, where my paintings were officially unveiled. I poured my heart out into helping to redesign the playroom, spending countless hours creating something special in honour of my little boy, so it was wonderful to share my creations with everyone at the party.

I used to sing You are my Sunshine to Archie about 20 times a day; he would fall asleep to me singing. If he needed calming, I would sing that song and he would be content within seconds. When I lost him, I felt like I completely lost my sunshine as well, so giving back to the Charity means a lot; it’s kept me focused on the love we shared and the bond we had, rather than allowing the pain I feel every day without him to consume me. I am extremely grateful to you all.