“He has proved everyone wrong": Bobby's story

When Lilly and her partner Jay went into labour at just 23+6 weeks, they were sent to a hospital over 80 miles away from their home, with no NICU units available close by. After giving birth to their first baby, Bobby, it was uncertain how long they would be in the hospital or where they would stay, being so far away from home.

After 18 days at Queen Alexandra Hospital in Portsmouth, they were transferred to Princess Anne Hospital in Southampton for emergency surgery as Bobby had a perforation in his bowel. Without the vital surgery, Lilly and Jay were told he wouldn’t survive.

Guest blogger: Lilly

We were informed of Ronald McDonald House Southampton when we arrived in the NICU. We had a referral sent over to the House, and it wasn’t long until we were offered a bedroom. This was the first time we had both heard about Ronald McDonald House Charities UK, and we made our way over to the House, not knowing what to expect or how long we could stay. As we arrived and spoke with House Assistant Rhys, he told us we could stay for however long Bobby was an inpatient. At this moment, we both felt such relief and happiness. If not for the House, it would have been a four to five-hour round trip for us daily, or we would have to pay for a place to stay in Southampton that might not have been close to the hospital.

Our stay at Southampton House made all the difference during our time at the hospital. It wasn’t just a place to rest and have a cup of tea – it became our second home, where family could visit from afar and where the staff became like family themselves. One of the unexpected gifts was meeting other parents whose children were on the same ward. We formed deep bonds, sharing experiences that only others in our situation could truly understand. Even now, long after leaving the House, these friendships continue to be a source of strength and support. There’s something special about connecting with people who really get what it’s like to have a child in hospital.

We had our first Christmas as a family at the House, and we were truly spoilt with sweet treats and generous, thoughtful presents. Even though everyone staying over the festive period was going through their own tough times, the House staff worked hard to make it a happy environment.

Bobby’s journey was far from easy. He spent six months in the NICU battling severe brain bleeds, chronic lung disease, and countless other challenges. After moving to the High Dependency Unit for another two months, we finally reached a milestone we’d once thought impossible – going home. In total, Bobby spent 314 days in hospital while we found refuge at Southampton House for 290 nights. The doctors had told us Bobby wouldn’t survive, wouldn’t leave the NICU, wouldn’t breathe on his own. But has proved everyone wrong.

After so many months of waiting, heading back to our family home felt surreal. While we were thrilled to finally take this next step, saying goodbye to the staff who had supported us daily wasn’t easy. They had been there through everything. Leaving them behind stirred up a bittersweet blend of joy and sadness.

As we reflected on our stay at Ronald McDonald House Southampton, we realized how crucial it was for Bobby’s care. We were able to rest, relax, and make time for ourselves, knowing that we could run over the road if Bobby ever needed us to be by his side. Having this space meant we could better advocate for our child when it mattered most.

To all the generous supporters of Ronald McDonald House Charities UK, we’d like to express our gratitude by saying ‘thank you.’ You’re helping families like us stay close to our children in hospital, giving them a place to rest and gather themselves before heading back into uncertainty. From the staff, facilities, and everything in between, it really is a home away from home, and you are helping in the most comforting way!